I have lost my wooden spoon
I had it a minute ago while I was stirring the soup
Now I wish to stir the soup again
And it is gone
Gone!
How can this be? I am an educated man.
I have not done much harm today because I have not been out
So then, why should this happen to me?
It is not where it should be. Worse,
It is not where it should not be
It is not in the phonebook
It is not under the cushion
It is not down the back of the fridge
It is not in the Arts pages
It is not on my manuscript
It is not in my boot
I am agitated. I can do without this.
Surely this should not happen to a person in their own home?
With no one about to blame
I have prayed
I have made sudden dashes at things and lifted them up quickly
Before it could get away
It wasn’t there
I have gone into rooms I have not been in and looked
Drawers and cupboards the same
It is not here
It has left the flat
It does not exist
It has been transported
Deported dematerialised – whatever it is called –
Teleported yes!
Even now I suppose it is on television
In a programme on the occult
Very well then, I do not need it
I never liked it
I will get my other my second my reserve spoon
I am not without spoons
I have spoons
I do not need it
I do not need to be agitated about it
See, I now have my reserve spoon in my hand
It is friendly, it acts like wood, I like it
I stir the soup
What is this?
Something in the soup impedes my deft stirring motion
What could it be?
I do not wish to know
I do not wish to know that I am foolish
I’m not having soup now
It is a funny colour
I have somewhere a tin of sardines
I had a tin of sardines, I am sure
I am going to eat out
I am going to a restaurant
I have been in all day
I deserve a treat, the company of my fellows
A glance at the Telegraph
What harm could there be in that?
None. Good. I will go.
I put on my coat successfully, and here are my gloves
Now where is my hat?
It is not where it should be.
I am not looking for my hat
I am not going out
It has been a long agitating day
I am going to bed
The bed is in the bedroom
Surely that is the case?
It was there when I looked for the spoon.
Was it there when I looked for the sardines?
Oh now I am being foolish
Boldly, I open the door and go into the bedroom
Oh, there is my hat.
– Alan Jackson
Poetry
Catch that speck of hate, which you created;
Hold it, and convert it into love.
Grow with it, then release it
To the world.
I wrote those lines for a fellow student and friend at university, Andy T., who had a lot of anger. He was much impressed and took the poem away with him. It also worked for me, as part of the introspection which was already part of my life by then. I was really able to catch myself in the process of thinking a nasty thought, and hold the thought, cherish it and change it into a loving one. It was quite a revelation and several of my friends took it on board. Nowadays there’s not much hate in my life, but I filter my feelings less too.
Fear and anxiety are powerful stalkers, and this prayer tackles them in a wonderfully original and peaceful way. It might seem strange at first, but it really works. It is taken from Meditative Prayers For Today by Adam Bittleston, published by The Christian Community Press.
May the events that seek me
come unto me;
May I receive them
with a quiet mind
Through the Father’s ground of peace
on which we walk.May the people who seek me
come unto me;
May I receive them
with an understanding heart
Through the Christ’s stream of love
in which we live.May the spirits which seek me
come unto me;
May I receive them
with a clear soul
Through the healing Spirit’s Light
by which we see.